Your First Story: A Decent Draft Example

DELHI TWP. — Runners, bicyclists and outdoor enthusiasts are discovering new ways to embrace the community, with the many new trails sprouting up throughout Delhi Township.  

Three such trails have been developed in Delhi Township over the last decade. The first was the mile HYPHEN HERE long Valhalla Trail, completed in 2006. This was followed by the 2.1 mile long Sycamore Trail in 2014.

The newest of the 3 recreational trails, the Ram Trail, will cost $1.8 million and will stretch 1.5 miles along Holt Road, between Eifert Road and Holt High School. The trail will connect downtown Holt to the western section of Delhi Township, incorporating a number of schools, parks, playgrounds and neighborhoods. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

The Ram Trail, named in honor of Holt High School’s sports teams, will serve as a safe route for many students to get to and from school. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

“Currently, there is no other safe and available way for walkers or bikers to get to or from our school complex,” said Parks and Recreation Director Mark Jenks.

Delhi Community Development Director Tracy Miller, who has worked with Delhi Township for over ten years, also has very real concerns about the condition of sidewalks and trails near the school district. 

“That whole trail was really prioritized because the kids walk and ride their bikes down Holt Road to get out to the schools,” said Miller. “I drive that way to and from work and I can’t tell you the number of times I see some kid trying to get to football practice, walking down the side of the road.”

Unlike other trails in the area, the Ram Trail is almost exclusively built on easements that have been obtained from private property owners. Because of this, benches and other land markers are not likely to be erected along the trail. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

However, large trail flags will be put up on 2 township-owned properties along the trail, creating awareness for both citizens and visitors of the area. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

A small, gravel parking lot is also expected to be constructed just west of the Big 10 Party Store, at the corner of Holt Road and Eifert Road. The lot will allow patrons easy access to the trail as well as convenient parking for nearby events, like school functions and football games. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

All 3 trails have been funded, in part, by different grants allocated by the State of Michigan and the Delhi Township general fund. These grants cover 80 percent of construction costs, while the township is responsible for the remaining 20 percent, as well as all engineering and design costs. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

While the the Ram Trail is giving adults and children a safer way to reach the high school complex, the overall installment of the trails is attracting a massive amount of people to the area, said Delhi Township Supervisor, C. J. Davis.

“I have never ever had a project where there wasn’t at least one person that was unhappy about something…until these trail projects,” said Miller. “People love them! You just don’t hear anything but positive stuff and it’s really, really rewarding to work on them.”

Jordan Green, a former resident of Holt, agrees that the trails are brining MISSPELLING: BRINGING a lot of positive feedback to the community and enjoys their convenience.

“My parents live just in the neighborhood and I start running from home and take a loop straight back,” said Green. “I definitely think building more trails around here is a positive idea. It encourages people to be more active and I like how interconnected the trails are.”

An increase in activity on the trails has been overwhelmingly evident to walkers and joggers who frequent the area.

Justin Troisi, a Holt resident, walks on the Valhalla and Sycamore trails 2 to 3 times a week with his dog. “The trails are definitely more busy than they used to be, probably because they’ve connected the trails,” said Troisi. “I see a lot more people out biking and running, and if people don’t have to do it on the side of the road, I think they’ll get out a lot more.”

Supporters of the trails will soon have even more to be excited about. Last year, Ingham County passed a trail millage that is seriously considering funding another trail that will connect the Hayhoe Trail, in Mason, with the Sycamore Trail, in Holt. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

“I think it will get funded, and it would be amazing to have a trail that will go all the way from Mason to Holt,” said Miller.

SOURCE SHEET

Tracy Miller, Delhi Township Director of Community Development, 517- 694-8281, Tracymiller@delhitownship.com

C.J. Davis, Delhi Township Supervisor, 517-694-2137, Cj.davis@delhitownship.com

Mark Jenks, Delhi Township Director of Parks and Recreation, 517-694-1549

Jordan Green, Runner and Former Holt Resident

Justin Troisi, Frequent Delhi Trail Walker and Holt Resident

INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS: A GOOD FOUNDATION HERE, BUT WE CAN USE A NEUTRAL EXPERT LIKE AN URBAN PLANNING PROF WHO SPECIALIZES IN RECREATIONAL FACILITIES, MAYBE A FEW MORE RESIDENTS WHO CAN COMMENT NOT ONLY ON WHETHER THEY LIKE THE TRAIL BUT WHETHER IT’S WORTH THE COST, AND CERTAINLY PICS AND A LOCATOR MAP.

Your First Story: Another Decent Draft Example

In a world where the economic markets are failing, it is hard for owners of small businesses to maintain their businesses while competing with megastores.

However, there are places that are sustain just by small, local businesses — Old Town Lansing is one of these places.

According to the Old Town Lansing business directory, more than 120 businesses have stayed in the neighborhood. UH, WHAT? ARE YOU SURE? THAT DOESN’T EVEN SEEM POSSIBLE. IF YOUR INSTINCTS SAY A NUMBER ISN’T RIGHT, THEN CHECK IT OUT AND SEE HOW THEY’RE BEING COUNTED. PLUS, HOW MANY HAVE LEFT? AND HOW DOES THAT COMPARE TO A NORM THAT YOUR NEUTRAL EXPERT MAY BE ABLE TO SUPPLY?

But, why Old Town Lansing and not Downtown Lansing or any other community?

“The rent is cheaper than downtown for the most part and that could be a starting point,” Old Town Commercial Association Executive Director Austin Ashley said. “But I think more important than that is the energy and the sense of community that we have down here.”

HOW DOES THE RENT COMPARE? DON’T JUST TELL ME; SHOW ME THE DATA

For Ashley, having different businesses that offer unique services and barely overlap has contributed in part to the success of Old Town Lansing.

“It’s also … looking at what kind of market we currently serve and what can we do and what businesses can we have that could complement that,” Ashley said.

WHAT IS THAT MARKET? WHAT ARE THOSE TYPES OF BUSINESSES?

But the success of a neighborhood in the current economic climate can vary.

Zachary Neal, assistant professor in the Global Urban Studies Program within the Department of Psychology at Michigan State University, said grassroots efforts by the neighborhood to encourage residents to shop locally could be key in a successful community. GOOD NEUTRAL EXPERT

“In Old Town Lansing, the Michigan Institute for Contemporary Art, which is responsible for hosting the Bluefest and Jazzfest, has been particularly successful at this,” Neal, who specializes in urban sociology, including business networks, said in an email. 

Neal also said nonprofits play an important role in attracting costumers and businesses into the community.

And many businesses in Old Town Lansing have been part of the development of the community.

October Moon has been in the neighborhood for 14 years, growing as a business as the costumers *** FATAL FACT ERROR: CUSTOMERS, STED COSTUMERS *** demands increases.

October Moon Owner Aura Ozburn said there are many factors that have contributed to her store’s ability to stay in business.

“Loyalty to my customers, posted hours that are followed, nice items, good service,” Ozburn said.  “I mean, all of it, it’s not just one component.”

WHAT DO HER CUSTOMERS SAY? GET THEIR TAKE, TOO

Ozburn, who said she wants to stay in Old Town Lansing, said the sense of community is one of the things that have made her stay for 14 years.

“I love the historical neighborhood and when I first opened up it was extremely dilapidated and unloved for the most part,” Ozburn said. “But you could see people were trying so hard and you could feel it but it was not necessarily visual. Many people were afraid of the neighborhood.”

Many of the business owners volunteer in the different fundraisers organized by the Old Town Commercial Associations to raise money for the betterment of the community.

HOW MANY FUINDRAISERS DO THEY HAVE? HOW MUCH DO THEY RAIUSE ANNUALLY? WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO?

“I’ve watched a lot of businesses come and go,” Ozburn said. “Even though you are in an urban environment you feel like you are in a small town… and you don’t have to agree but you support each other and you listen to each other and that is quiet refreshing.”

But there are different reasons that could contribute the departure of businesses from Old Town Lansing.

“There are many different factors… the most obvious is a lack of demand (and) revenue,” Neal said. “But for some businesses that close quickly, this may be driven by insufficient starting capital.”

LET’S FIND A BUSINESSPERSON THAT LEFT OLD TOWN AND GET THEIR TAKE OF WHY THEY LEFT

If a business wants to be successful, it is imperative for it to have a sufficient starting capital, Neal said.

“New businesses often take several years before they become profitable, so opening a new business requires a sufficient reserve of capital to cover expenses until the business generates a profit,” Neal said. “If a new business opens on a very limited budget, it may be unable to withstand the initial costs of getting started.”

Ashley said many of the businesses in Old Town Lansing can sustain themselves and have built a clientele that grows every year.

And having loyal costumers can make a difference in small businesses.

“There is a pride, because there is ownership… the difference between owning and renting,” Ozburn said. “Old Town shows ownership.”

INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS: GOOD OVERALL STRUCTURE, BUT FIRST WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT WE PAIR GENERALITIES WITH DETAILS. IF WE SAY THE AREA HAS A CERTAIN CLIENTELE, LET’S SAY WHAT THAT CLIENTELE IS. IF WE SAY THEY DO FUND-RAISERS, THEN LET’S FIND OUT HOW MANY AND HOW MUCH THEY RAISE. DON’T JUST TELL ME SOMETHING IS SO; SHOW ME THE PROOF AND THE DETAILS. ALSO, WE’RE MISSING A MAJOR PERSPECTIVE HERE: THAT OF SHOPPERS! WHY DO THEY SHOP THERE? WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS? WHAT KEEPS THEM COMING BACK AND WHAT KEEPS THEM AWAY? LET’S NOT FORGET EVERYDAY PEOPLE LIKE THAT. WE ALSO NEED A BIT OF HEALTHY SKEPTICISM IN TERMS OIF THE NUMBERS WE ARE OFFERED: HOW ARE THEY COUNTING THAT? WHAT DOES THAT TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION? ALSO, LET’S CAREFULLY PROOF OUR WORK FOR ADHERENECE TO AP STYLE AND MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO MORE FATALS IN HERE. AND WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR A SECONDARY MEDIA? PHOTOS? VIDEO? A LOCATOR MAP? A FACT BOX?

Your First Story: One More Draft Example

Too Much Help?

            When people are in need it’s not unusual for a community to rise up to meet the challenge.

            This is exactly what the city of Saint Johns ST. JOHNS, STED SAINT JOHNS has done.

UM, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE? SEEMS LIKE WE’RE MISSING A NUT GRAF HERE THAT ANSWERS THAT QUESTION

            According to Michigan’s Campaign to End Homelessness, Michigan’s South Central area, which includes Clinton County, has a homeless population of 14,267 individuals.

            Nationally, Michigan is ranked first in the Midwest for number of homelessness and Poverty, according to the U.S. department DEPARTMENT IS UPPER CASE of Housing and Urban Development Annual Homeless Assessment.

            With so many people needing assistance it’s no wonder that in the last decade businesses in Saint Johns, such as the Tree of Life Community Church and the Basic Needs Center, have opened their doors for individuals in need of their services.

            Paster Russ McCoy, head of the Basic Needs Center, said, “[The Basic Needs Center’s] main mission is to feed a clothe those who are in need, all free of charge.”

            Since opening their doors in 2011 the amount of families they provide services for has only grown.

            “We provide about 1,500 families with food and clothing,” said McCoy.

            “We couldn’t do this without the community, they support us finically and provide us with food and clothing,” said McCoy.

AGAIN, DETAILS? HOW MUCH MONEY DO THESE GROUPS SPEND YTO DO WHAT THEY DO? WHERE DOES THE MONEY COME FROM? DON’T JUST TELL ME THAT’S THE SITUATION; SHOW ME THE DETAILS AND THE PROOF

            A similar story can be told about the Tree of Life Community Church.

            Kay McKone, an employee at the Community Church, said, “we interact with the local businesses and work together to encourage the community.”

BY DOING WHAT, EXACTLY? BE PRECISE

            Which such a great environment for individuals who are struggling, one can wonder if this increase of people in need has had any impact on the surrounding business and community.           WELL, HAS IT? WE NEED TO CHECK THAT OUT. WHAT DO BUSINESSES SAY? WHAT DO TOWNSPEOPLE AND CITY OFFICIALS SAY? WHAT DOES THE DATA TELL US? IS POVERTY GROWING OR SHRINKING? WE NEED TO ANSWER QUESTIONS CREATED BY OUR REPORTING

Sources:

Kay McKone

Employee at The Tree of Life Community Church

(989) 534-2534

Pastor Russ McCoy

In charge of the Basic Needs Center

(517) 230-4618

**Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get in contact with anyone else. (Due to business hours, class scheduling, and meets) But we are going to Saint Johns today (Tuesday) where I plan to get the rest of my sources. Above is obviously the foundation for my story (It is very much a rough draft). Below are questions I plan on asking to local business, individuals in the area, and patrons who visit the Basic Needs Center.

Questions:

(Business)

-    Name

-    Job title/position

-    What services does your business provide?

-    Have you had any problems with individuals walking in and not buying anything? Or not being able to purchase anything?

-    With the Basic Needs Center so close have you noticed any change in the type of customer you serve?

-    Has this been an issue?

-    What are ways you think the Basic Needs Center could be harming the community?

-    Is there anything you wish they would do differently?

(Individuals)

-    Name

-    Job/Position

-    Since the opening of the Basic Needs Center have you noticed a change in the type of individuals in town? Or the area?

-    If so, what are they?

-    How does this make you feel?

-    Do you think the Basic Needs Center is a good thing to have in Downtown Saint Johns?

(Individuals in the Basic Needs Center)

-    Name

-    Job title/position

-    How long have you been coming to the Basic Needs Center?

-    How long have you lived here?

-    Did the Center influence you decision at all?

-    How did you hear about the Center?

-    Why do you think the Center is a good idea?

-    Do you think it has changed the attitude/feeling of the community?

Neutral Expert: Anderson, Steven     

Director and professor

Poverty; social services; social welfare policy and politics. Researches poor families' access to social benefits, and policy and program strategies that improve access to those services.

Phone: 517-355-7515

Email: stevea@msu.edu

**I’ve been playing phone tag with him for a few days.**